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The Lambrusko Kid

Dig That Groove Baby

Friday Night Is Bath Night This Is What They Say
We Are Gonna Dig The Groove, We've Waited All Day
We Wear Trendy Trousers With Belts A Mile Too Long
We Are Gonna Catch The Bus Into The Town
We Are Boogie On Down...

Dig That Groove Ba-A-By
Dig That Groove Ba-A-By
Dig That Groove Ba-A-A-A-By
Dig That Groove Ba-A-By
Dig That Groove Ba-A-By
Dig Dig Dig Dig Dig Dig Dig Dig Dig
Digga Digga Digga Dig That Groove Baby

There They Are Again Covered In Old Spice
They Think They Will Get The Girls Cause
They Smell Nice,
They All Call Me Riff Raff
'Coz I Wear A Crombie
I Couldn't Stand It Being Just Like Them
They All Look Like Puffs Not Men

See That Trendy There She Used To Be A Punk
Now She's Off To The Disco To Listen To Junk
Her Boyfriend Was A Skinhead
He Used To Shout Oi! Oi!
Play That Funky Music That's What They Say Now
Come With Me And I'll Show You How



She Goes To Finos

Every Night I Know That She Goes To Finos
And Every Night I Know That She Sees Him
Every Night She Holds Him Tight At Finos
And Everynight It's Alright For Him

And She Goes... La La La La La La La To Finos
Yes She Goes... La La La La La La La With Him
And She Goes... La La La La La La La To Finos
Yes She Goes... La La La La La La La

Every Night I Try To Get Into Finos
And Every Night They Just Won't Let Me In
And Everynight I Watch Him Meet Her At Finos
And Every Night It's Alright For Him

One Of These Nights I'm Gonna Get Into Finos
And One Of This Nights I'm Gonna Make Her See Me
And Every Night I'm Gonna Get Into Finos
And Everynight Will Be Alright For Me


The Death Of Barry The Roofer With Vertigo

Long Ago With Vertigo, O, O
He Had A Fatal Accident
The Balance Of Barry's Had Went
And Nothing Could Prevent Him Falling Off
The Bu, Bu, Bu Bungalow

The Night Was Young And Barry Begun Downing A Pint In The Pub
The Plan Was He Would Have A Curry Then Soak Up The Suds In The Tub
He Took A Sup As He Stood Up He Fell To The Floor With A Yell
He Hit The Deck, But What The Eck, Baz Says, "I'm Feelin" Swell"

He Buys The Scran, Back In The Van, Headed Home To Relax
Before He Sees The Door Barry Is Plagued With Panic Attacks
The Answer Phone Had One Message That Pushed Barry Over The Edge
"Is That Barry The Roofer Man? Please Come To Me As Quick As You Can"

Barry The Roofer, Barry The Roofer, Barry The Roofer Man

He Misses His Meal, Back At The Wheel, With His Ladders And His Map
A Dude In Despair With With A Roof To Repair, Is Betting Barry's The Chap
Barry Assessed The Damaged And Guessed, To Leave It Alone Is Probably Best
The Customer Cried "Fix It Man", That Night Barry Died When He Got Out The Van

Barry The Roofer, Barry The Roofer, Barry The Roofer Man

Barry The Roofer, Barry The Roofer, Barry The, Barry The, Barry The

The Balance Of Barry's Had Went ...

Barry The Roofer ... Barry The, Barry The ...


Dougy Giro

You Can't Guess What Life For Dougy
Is Like, He Wakes Up In The Street
No Home, No Bed, He Says He's Lucky
That He Can Smile And Be Happy

Dougy, Dougy, Giro
Dougy, Dougy, Giro

People Say That He's Not Worthy
Of Clothes, That Shows That They Don't Care
But He Does Not Let This Get Him Down
That Is How Dougy Stays Alive

Dougy's Inside A Bus Shelter
It's Raining And A Sight To See,
Dougy Smiles He's Seen A Rainbow
Every.. Where's Bright, And So Is He


The Lambrusco Kid

I'm Always Feeling Lonely I'm Always Feeling Blue
She Was The One And Only She Said She Loved Me Too
But Now She's Gone And Left Me Just Like They Always Do
Now I'm Always Full Of Misery I Don't Know What To Do

I'm Always On A Downer I Should Be Feeling Fine
I'm Never On An Upper I Need A Swig O' Wine

Now He's Always Dizzy Coz He's Busy With Fizzy Lambrusco

I'm Getting Fat And Lazy I Always Look A Mess
I Need A Little Drinky Poos To Bring Me Happiness

So Give Him A Bottle Of That Fizzy Stuff
A Lambrusco Kids A Kid With Sense
He's Always At The Off License With Me

Now We've Found The Answer
To Stop You Feelin Low
A Bottle Of Fizzy Wine
They Call It Lambrusco

I'm Always Feeling Lousy
But I Know That When
I've Had A Glass O' Lamby
I'll Be Smiling Again

That's What They Call Me, Lambrusco Kid
That's What They Call Me, I'm The Lambrusco Kid

I'm Such A Misery Guts I'm Dirty And I Stink
I've Always Got A Pet Lip I Need Another Drink


Fisticuffs In Frederick Street

Frederick Street Was On The News Tonight
Outside Fosters Club Had Been A Fight
And Every Time You Go To Dig The Beat
You Will Hear A Yelp And Somebody Shouting For Help

Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Who's Down There?
Who's Down There?
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Who's Down There?
Who's Down There?
In The Fisticuffs In Frederick Street
I Don't Wanna Be, I Don't Wanna Be, You Don't Wanna Be
We Don't Wanna Be There

Fosters Club Was Full Up To The Brim
Everybody Risking Life And Limb
And Just To Go And Pose At The Disco
But Posing Wasn't Easy As The DJ
He Got Queasy, Blow By Blow

Everything's Silent On Frederick Street
A Lonely Policeman Walks The Beat

Before Long Everybody'll Know
That Fosters Club Is Not The Place To Go
Unless You Want Your Head Kicking In
You Will Hear A Yelp And Somebody Shouting For Help


Tommy Kowey's Car

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
There's A Motor Store At The Top Of Hylton Road
You Go There For Little Bits N Pieces For Your Car
And In The Office There Sits A Secretary She's Got
Long Blonde Hair,
Mr. Tommy Kowey Fancies Her

I Saw Her In Tommy Kowey's Car
I Saw Her In Tommy Kowey's Car
In Tommy Kowey's Car

At The Motor Store He Was There Last Tuesday Night
With Her I Saw, They Were Kissin At The Factory Door
But She Still Tells Me, There Is Nothing Going On
With Us You See It Was Tommy Kowey's Wife You Saw.

At The Motor Store Mr. Tommy Kowey’s Gotta
Jag-U-Ar She's Never Been In It She Says Before
But Now She Tells Lies, She Was Havin Dinner Out
The Other Night And She Went In Tommy Kowey's Car


Firey Jack

Oh! I Woke Up With A Backache
Backache! Backache!
I Thought I Ought To Go To The First Aid Tin
Where I Found Something For My Backache
Backache! Backache!
I Rubbed In Some Cream And Started To Scream! Oh No

Chorus:
Firey Jack Firey Jack- It's Red Hot On Your Back
Firey Jack Firey Jack- Believe Me It Does Knack
Firey Jack Firey Jack- It's Red Hot On Your Back
Firey Jack

Now I Had A Back Ache On Me Backache
Backache Backache!
I Jumped Into The Bath Full Of Cold Water
The Firey Jack Had Made Me Backache
Backache Backache
I'm Worse Than Before I Can't Take Anymore
Oh No

Chorus

So If You Do Get A Backache
Backache Backache!
And You Feel You Have To Reach For The First Aid Tin
Think! Life Is Not That Bad With A Backache
If You See A Tin With Firey Jack In
Stay Away

It’s Red Hot... On Your Back... On Your Back



Yul Brynner Was A Skinhead

There's A Fella From A Film
Reminds Me Of Duncan Goodhew
But He's Not A Proper Skinhead
Cause He Hasn't Got A Tattoo

He's Not As Wise As He Seems
Coz He's Just An Actor
He's A Dunce, I've Never Seen
Him On The Krypton Factor

We Always Use Silvekrin
To Keep Our Heads Clean
But We Know That Yulie's Not
A Normal Human Being
Coz He Uses Mr. Sheen

Yul Brynner, Yul Brynner,
They Say He's A Skinhead
But We Know That It's A Lie
Yul Brynner, Yul Brynner
He Is Just A Baldly Geezer
From The King & I
Yul Bbbbb Brynner

Yul Brynner Was A Skinhead
They Said On The News,
But I've Never Seen Yul Brynner
Wearing Doctor Martens Shoes

His Only Claim To Fame Was That
He Had A Shiny Nut
But I Would Look Just The Same
If I Had My Hair Cut


Idle Gossip

Guess Who's Working On The Fiddle
Tell Me Who Works On The Fiddle
I'll Tell You Who Works On The Fiddle
Oooo Ooo Idle Gossip
Guess Whose Just Come Off The Pill
Tell Me Who's Come Off The Pill
Oooo Ooo Idle Gossip

They Must Be Thick, It's Everywhere You Go
It Makes Me Sick, I Just Don't Wanna Know
About Who's In The Latest News, Oh No

Everybody Wants To Know The Rumours
Everybody Wants To Know The Scandal
Idle, Idle,......... Gossip

Guess Who Can't Pay Their Gas Bill
Tell Me Who Can't Pay The Bill
I'll Tell You Who Can't Pay The Bill
Oooo Ooo Idle Gossip
Guess Who I Slept With Last Night
Tell Me Where You Slept Last Night
Oooo Ooo Idle Gossip

Alec's Gone

Out In The Courtyard, Cold & It's So Hard
Now Betty's Crying, She Wants To Die
Coz It's Over, Die, But She...

Knows That Her Grieving, It's Not Achieving
What Bet's Believing, He Will Return

Alec's Gone, Alec's Gone, Alec's Gone
Alec's Gone, Alec's Gone, Alec's Gone

Away Oo Oo Oo Gone Away Oo Oo Ooo

Down In The Rovers, Bet Can't Get Over
What He Said To Her, He Will Return

Alec's Gone...
He's Gone, Done A Bunk

Betty's Still Dreaming, Inside She's Screaming
Out For The Day That He Will Return

Alec's Gone



My Girlfriend's Dad's A Vicar

God Help Me What Can I Do
My Girlfriend's Dad Is A Vicar Boo Hoo
And He Won't Let Me Be Alone With You
Oh He's A Vicar And There's Nothing I Can Do

God Help Him What Can He Do
His Girlfriend's Dad Is A Vicar Boo Hoo
And He Won't Let Him Be Alone With You
Oh He's A Vicar And There's Nothing He Can Do


Bless You My Son

You Tell Me, I'm Not Good E
Nough For You, What Can I Do?
Shiddle Iddle Ay Shiddle Iddle Oh
I Got So Sick I Told A Vic
Ar Her Dad, I Must Be Mad
Shiddle Iddle Ay Shiddle Iddle Oh

He Just Said Don't Worry Your Head
There'll Be Another Girl Instead
Trust In God The Father And The Son
Get Out Of Her Life And Bless You My Son

You Always Said You Wanted A Stead
Y Boyfriend, Now Don't Pretend
Shiddle Iddle Ay Shiddle Iddle Oh
I Took The Path Up To The Cath
Edral Where, He Stood There
Shiddle Iddle Ay Shiddle Iddle Oh

I Ever Thought, That I Would Be Court
Ing With You, But It's True
Shiddle Iddle Ay Shiddle Iddle Oh
But It Went Bad Because Her Dad
He Saw Me With Her You See
Shiddle Iddle Ay Shiddle Iddle Oh



Stay Mellow

Things Do Go Wrong, It's Not Long Since I've Been Blue
But I Know The Remedy, I Can See Just What To Do

Don't Be A Coward, Don't Be Yellow
It Always Pays To Be Mellow
Stay Cool, Stay Free And Then You Will See
It's Best To Stay Mellow

I Was Upset And In Debt With No Money
But I Did Not Stay Sad, It's Not That Bad, So Remember

Oh If You Are Down In The Town With No Bus Fare
Start Walking And Smile, In A While You'll Be Back Home


Glenda And The Test Tube Baby

Victory If Glenda She, Had A Baby, Oooeee

Things Were Looking Gloomy And Glenda She Was Sad
Kevin Had Been Out With Carol Sands
But Glenda She Though Surely
It Can't Be That Bad, If I Had A Baby

Glenda Went Round To The Doctors The Next Day
You Can't Have A Baby, That's What He Said
Glenda Did Not Give Up She's Got This Book To Read
On How To Have A Test Tube Baby

Glenda's Dad Had Just Died And She Was Unhappy
If Only She Could Have A Baby
So To The Disapproval Of Kevin And His Mam
She Signed Up For A Baby


Nellie The Elephant

To Bombay A Travelling Circus Came, They Brought An
Intelligent Elephant And Nellie Was Her Name
One Dark Night She Slipped Her Iron Chain
And Off She Ran To Hindustan
And Was Never Seen Again
Oooooooooooo

Nellie The Elephant Pack Her Trunk
And Said Goodbye To The Circus
Off She Went With A Trumpety Trump
Trump Trump Trump
Now Nellie The Elephant Packed Her Trunk
And Trundled Off To The Jungle
Off She Went With A Trumpety Trump
Trump Trump Trump

The Head Of The Herd Was Calling Far Far Away
They Met One Night In The Silver Light
On The Road To Mandalay

Night By Night She Danced To The Circus Band
When Nellie Was Leading The Big Parade
She Looked So Proud And Grand
No More Tricks For Nellie To Perform
They Taught Her How To Take A Bow
And She Took The Crowd By Storm
Oooooooooooo

The Final Countdown

Leavin' Together, Still It's Farewell
Maybe We'll Come Back, To Earth, Who Can Tell
Guess There Is No One To Blame
Were Leavin' Ground, Leavin' Ground
Will Things Ever Be The Same Again?

It's The Final Countdown, The Final Countdown

Uh Oh
Were Headed For Venus, And Still We Stand Tall

Coz Maybe They've Seen Us, And Welcome Us All, Yeah
So Many Light Years To Go
Things To Be Found
So Bad We All Miss Her So